Ninja Warrior SE: episode 9 recap

Air date: 19 March 2015

Obstacle fails:

Who failed what obstacle:

As you can see, only one person made it through this round, where we only got to see what is now referred to as "stage one" of "the finale". Since we've always called the try-outs/qualifying round stage one and the semis "stage two", I'll refer to this as "finale: part one" for simplicity's sake. Though nothing is ever simple with these rules. At least it's straight-forward from now on: if you fail, you're out. Your time won't save you, even though they are still counting, for some reason.

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Chriss & Ell commentary:

After our usual "omg did you see what are favourite Japanese ninjas posted on Twitter today??"-catch up we were both a bit shocked to see that this is the second to last episode. I really thought the finale would span over several episodes, since it was promising to be so awesome: being way more Sasuke than anything else we've seen so far. After seeing so many people fail part one of the finale, I can see why it won't last for more than two episode. Damn. These guys would not last long in Sasuke.

Anyway, we're sad to see the show be over. We may complain a lot about it not being ninja enoughtfor our hipster standards, but we do love the show and it's entertaining us. And, ten eps is longer than any Sasuke episode, so there's that ...

~*~

Chriss: "Batman soundtrack? I approve."

Was definitely about time they stepped up their soundtrack game. Well done!

~*~

We've seen some changes to the stage again, and I'll make a separate post on that later this week (there were more changes than I expected). The Hang Glider is now the Tarzan Rope (easy-peasy), the Spiderwalk is the "Jumping" Spider (we decided that calling it Jumping Spider was over-selling it, see later post) Arm Rings are Unstable Bridge, and the Rope Ladder by the end have become the Spider Climb. Or, as it is known as in Swedish: the Chimney. Terrible name, really.

~*~

Time for Jesper Eriksson, the second person to take on this course.

Source: Kanal5play.se

Chriss: "Haha, his dad's running next to the course just like Mr. Sasuke."

His dad had also expressed doubts about Jesper's ability to clear the course, which kinda sounds like something Mr Sasuke would do (I'm totally making this up, I have no idea what he'd say since I've only seen three of his lines subtitled, like, ever). His dad was right though, as parents tend to be, because Jesper didn't clear it.

~*~

Time fooor:

Source: Kanal5play.se

Ninja Warrior SE's very own Chuck Norris. As you might remember, Adam Alsing (commentator) made a really funny comment last time he tried the course. Apparently Adam doesn't know when to stop, because he tried two different (well, one was basically the same joke as last time) Chuck Norris jokes, and Mårten Nylén (other commentator) didn't even laugh. Quit while you're ahead, Adam, you're better than this.

Source: Kanal5play.se

Adam then informed us that David Marberg has built his own ninja course at his home.

Ell: "We should invite ourselves to work out at his ninja course."

Chriss: "Yep."

Ell: "I'll try flattering him on our blog so he'll like us.

Chriss: "Yeah, write that we like his beard."

Ell: "I'll be all 'oh wooooow you are so much cooler than the real Chuck Norris'."

Chriss: "'Plz let us come train at your ninja course.'"

There you go, David, in case you googled yourself and found this. We can offer you the exclusive opportunity to guest blog here if we can come train at your ninja course!

(Let's be real, we're 90% sure at least one contestant has found this blog by googling themselves. It's okay, we've all been there.)

~*~

Good thing about the Swedish course: I've never understood the design of Unstable Bridge until they specifically pointed out that the second bridge only hangs on two chains instead of four as the first one.

Source: Kanal5play.se

Probably because in Sasuke, they make it look so fucking easy, you never have to consider why it's supposed to be hard. Now, I see why I was wrong when I thought this would be harder than the Arm Rings, because wow, this took down a lot of competitors. Still, this is a second stage obstacle and Arm Rings are a third stage one ... on paper this should be easier!

~*~

Chriss: "I'm starting to think no one will make it past this stage."

Ell: "I wouldn't be surprised if Kanal5 makes sure that at least one of them makes it to Midoriyama. Kinda like how they made sure the Japanese wouldn't win in American Ninja Warrior: USA vs The World."

Chriss: "Wouldn't surprise me, since we know what NBC did."

Ell: "And we never forgot and we never forgave."

~*~

Second to last out: Björn Strömberg.

Source: Kanal5play.se

Adam Alsing: "This guy is far from an idiot."

Charming, Adam, charming. Though he was referring to the fact that Björn probably kept an eye out on the people taking on the course before him, noticing their mistakes.

Adam: "He runs a flower shop with his fiancé. That's not the very ninja."

Ell: "WELL NEITHER IS BEING A SHOE SALESMAN."

Chriss: "AND HE IS THE MOST NINJA SO FAR IN THE WORLD."

We're weirdly protective of Urushihara Yuuji. Who is probably capable of protecting himself. But still. Your job doesn't mean shit here.

Sadly, we won't get a flower shop Ninja Warrior because Björn Strömberg failed the Unstable Bridge, as so many before him.

~*~

And who had the most supporting family? Why, Alexander Mars of course:

Source: Kanal5play.se

Okay, it's not super-obvious here because they refused to line up properly and the guy with the A is wearing a jacket, but yeah, they're wearing tees that spell out his last name. I expect my friends get together to spell out Ell or Hipster depending on how many are there when I get to compete. ;)

It totally worked though, since Alexander was the only person to clear part one this time around. You go, dude! We're rooting for you, we're all rooting for you!

~*~

At first I was pretty sure that someone would at least get to try out Midoriyama, or "part three" of the finale, but now I don't know. They did not do well on this one, and part two? That's a bunch of new obstacle they've never seen before, which leaves me highly skeptical if anyone will actually make it very far on it. What we've seen so far of the finale hasn't been very impressive, and these guys wouldn't survive Sasuke for five minutes.

Speaking of Sasuke, we were informed during the last minutes of the show that if anyone does clear the final stage of the finale (aka Midoriyama) and claims the cash price, they will be invited to participate in Sasuke, kinda like how the Americans were invited when they did well on American Ninja Warrior until the japanese got mad with them (except for Drew Drechsel: the Sasuke people still like Drew, and so do we). That makes me wonder if someone will make it after all, or if they're just building it up for us? Why hasn't it been mentioned before? I'm suspicious.

I guess I could start spamming the Sasuke producers on Twitter to find out if any Swedes have been invited to Sasuke 31, buuut we have not sunk that low in our Sasuke obsession yet, so we won't. We'll wait a week and find out in due time. Until then: sayonara ninja lovers!

Ninja Warrior SE: episode 8 recap

Air date: 12 March 2015

Obstacle fails:

Who went to stage three?

Jesper only made it to the Arm Rings, but had the best time reaching them.

Totat passes in the semifinal:

Source: Kanal5play.se

Source: Kanal5play.se

And we're done with stage two/the semifinals! Sadly none of the ladies made it, but there are a lot of strong competitors here, and I imagine anyone who failed at the Arm Rings is gonna be hungry for revenger in the next stage.

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Chriss & Ell commentary:

Some guy is having trouble with the Salmon Ladder.

Mårten Nylén (commentator): "But he's correcting himself!"
Ell: "Mårten always sounds so shocked when they do that."
Chriss: "Maybe he thinks that he's the only one could really pass the course. I really wanna see Mårten do the course!!!"
Ell: "YES!"
Chriss: "He should compete next year."
Ell: "Hasn't he published pics of him doing the course on Twitter or Instagram?"
Chriss: "Well, I've got some internet-stalking to do."

Well, I may have over-estimated the amount of pics because I went looking at his Twitter and could only find two pics of him doing the course:

Source: https://twitter.com/martennylen/status/565836637641646080

Source: https://twitter.com/martennylen/status/556497238814621697

Which isn't a particularly impressive find when I also found two pics of him wearing sport bras. More men should definitely wear sport bras.

Honestly, I think we all would like to see both Mårten and Adam take on the course, but somehow I get the feeling Mårten would do better of the two ...

~*~

They have a certain sound, that reminds me of Lost for some reason, that they play a little too often for dramatic effect. It works great on the Warped Wall: it kinda loses its touch after we then hear it during the jump to the Salmon Ladder and pushing the finishing button and everything else. As Chriss put it: they could be playing the Thor soundtrack, but noooooooo.

~*~

We get a flashback to Alexander Mellby's last performance:

Source: Kanal5play.se

 Chriss: "SUPERMAN"

Source: Kanal5play.se

Chriss: "PINK SUPERMAN"
Ell: "NICE."
Chriss: "10/10 would recommend"

That is an awesome tee. Where can I get one?

~*~

Source: Kanal5play.se

Björn Strömberg finishes the course.
Mårten (commentator): "As you can see, this guy has got a good grip: if he's holding onto something, he will not let it go. Typical of climbers."
Adam (commentator): "Also typical of me, if I've got a bag of chips in my hand, I'll never let go!"

~*~

Now we have the trio of coursins ... well, there were four of them to begin with, but one of them didn't make it past the first stage. And only one of them - Andreas Oscarsson - actually passed the second stage. Chriss kinda fell in love with him because of his "Harry Potter green" eyes.

Source: Kanal5play.se

Chriss: "We watch it for the plot and so on."

~*~

I know we talk a lot of shit about the Swedish Ninjas and how the course is too easy and blah, blah, but Patrik Hagelin displayed some true ninjas skills when he managed THIS fucking jump in the Arm Rings:

Source: Kanal5play.se

Dude could probably pass first stage in Sasuke. That is a bold move, and but it paid off, because we've seen a few people fail when they try to get up on the last part of the rings, and he just fucking skipped it. Awesome.

~*~

Anja Hodann didn't make it. :( But she got the farthest of the women, so you go, Anja! Next year!

~*~

Mårten finished by saying something in Japanese, I don't know what, but Adam promptly informed us that it was spoken in "ninja language". No. Just. No. It's Japanese, for fuck sake, dude. You're always talking about how people "speak ninja" or "ninja language", and frankly I'm finding it a bit disrespectful. But what do I know? We're just speaking bork bork bork over here.

~*~

And we're done with the semis! The finals are supposedly split into three parts, resembling normal Sasuke a lot more, and while I'm sure it'll be confusing as hell, I'm totally psyched about seeing more obstacles. The first part, I think, is just the same fucking course all over again, but with the Unstable Bridge instead of the Arm Rings. Personally I think Unstable Bridge looks way easier, but maybe that's just me ...

Until next time: sayonara ninja lovers!