Ninja Warrior SE: stage three, part two

As I said, we only saw ~20 minutes (including a commercial break!) of this stage in the last ep, but thanks to Alexander Mars we at least got to see all of it in action. I think this is a pretty good stage, and the three people who attempted it did a lot better than I thought they would. If Kanal5 were to use the Sasuke format for next year, this would make for a perfect stage two. Not Sasuke hard, but a better challenge for the unprepared Swedes.

Source: Kanal5play.se

We start with a Pipe Slider towards a Tarzan Rope. The Pipe Slider is pretty short and unimpressive, but getting on that rope afterwards should've given people more trouble than it did.

Source: Kanal5play.se

Doorknob Grasper, with ropes at the beginning and end. They made this look pretty easy too, but I guess it would be compared to the Arm Rings and Unstable Bridge. It's also in the beginning of the course, so at this point your arms won't be too sore.

Source: Kanal5play.se

The Death Rope. It looked like any other rope, but I suppose the half-moon shape might make it harder than it looks. Maybe. The name is cool though.

Source: Kanal5play.se

Wall Lifting. I didn't pay attention, but I'm guessing it's the same 30-40-50 kg set-up as in Sasuke. You have to pass the last wall in less than a minute or you won't get to go on to the last two obstacles. All three contestants did that in the last ep, with one second to spare for Alexander and David Johansson. Walker Kearney were Asa levels of fast and cleared it in like 30 seconds

Source: Kanal5play.se

Floating Boards. With the heavy rain this became more or less impossible, although Alexander made it through. Possibly witchcraft was involved, we don't know.

Source: Kanal5play.se

The Cliffhanger. Look at that fucking drop, how are you gonna mae that in the rain? Clearly, you weren't. And so close to the end as well. Oh well that's Sasuke for ya!

And that's it, we've seen all the obstacles. We never got to see the tower/Midoriyama, but it was 20-something meters of Rope Climb, unless I'm mistaken. The exact length may have been specified at some point, but I'm to lazy to check if it was 21 or 23 meters. We'll see if anyone gets there next year!

Ninja Warrior SE: episode 10 recap

Air date: 26 March 2015

Obstacles fails:

Stage one

Stage two

Stage one

Stage two

Well, as you can see, no one made it past stage two, which means no one made it to Midoriyama/the tower. Still, Alexander Mars was the last man standing, which means that even if he didn't win any money, he will get to compete in Sasuke 31. And isn't that way better than money anyway?

And no we're not jealous. Not at all. Where would you even get that idea? (Btw Chriss, how is that "steal Alexander's identity and take his place in Sasuke-"plan coming along?).

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Chriss & Ell commentary:

Adam Alsing (on the "Jumping" Spider): "It's a completely different obstacle now!"
Chriss: "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Ell: "MAYBE FOR THE CONTESTANTS."
Chriss: "YOU KNOW NOTHING ADAM ALSING."
Ell: "It looks basically the same to us in the audience."

Adam then proceeded to pronounce Sasuke like "Sasoke" and Chriss screamed. We're not always easy to please.

~*~

Walker Kearney makes the course looks like a "walker in the park" (what, have we heard that joke fivehundred times already? Naaah, can't be ...) and clears "The Chimney" aka the Spider Climb with ease.

Source: Kanal5play.se

Adam Alsing (commentator): "He's like Santa Claus - except the opposite!"
Chriss: "Excuse you, how do you think Santa gets back OUT of the houses?"

How would Santa do in Sasuke? Now this is a question we'd like to see answered.

~*~

Then firefighter Martin Lindh then fucked up at the Quintuple Step.

Source: Kanal5play.se

We couldn't believe it. He totally Shingo'd it up. :( The firefighters didn't do well at all today, a true shame.

~*~

Then we got distracted talking about how much we want me to compete in Ninja Warrior SE next year. Ya'll should go make me viral or something so they have no choice but to put me on the show. Just sayin'. If I'm not last man standing, how will I ever get to Sasuke?

~*~

I wish I could quote more of what we said, but, a lot of it is really inappropriate comments on the contestants' bodies, so we're gonna skip that (the phrases "I would climb that like a mountain" and "I wouldn't mind getting under that, if you know what I mean" were used). We watch it for the plot, and so on ...

~*~

Then we FINALLY got to see stage two! Sadly, only three people made it there, so we only got to see it the last like twenty minutes. A SHAME, because it was the first time we got to see only new obstacles, and it was fun. For next season, I would love to see more variations in the semifinal and final part one. It's a good course, and yeah, it's fun that people can fail obstacles they've cleared with ease several times before, but come one: we want more obstacles! Give it to us, Kanal5, I know you can do it!

~*~

Alexander Mars made it all the way to the Cliffhanger, but it's pretty brutal and during the drop from the highest bar to the lowest he lost his grip.

Source: Kanal5play.se

So close to making it all the way, but no. I think that Cliffhanger looks like something even the Sasuke stars would have a problem with, but Chriss wasn't on my side. Still, the design is more closely resembling the Ultimate Cliffhanger than any of the easier ones, so I'm not gonna say this should've been easy for any of them. Especially not in the rain ...

~*~

Adam Alsing (commentator): "It's raining pretty hard, maybe we should cancel this."

Mårten Nylén (commentator): "Forget about it! This is Ninja Warrior!"

YEAAH. That's the Sasuke spirit, Mårten!

~*~

Then both David Johansson and Walker Kearney failed when they were trying to get on the Floating Boards. I'm not that surprised, David Johansson is built like a fricking fridge, so his weight would've been against him even if it HADN'T been raining, and well ... when you're trying to grab a fucking board sideways, you kinda need some sort of friction to stay on. Rain would stop even the best competitors, and it seems it did.

Anyway, we're happy for the "winner" Alexander Mars, and I'm gonna finish this sentence before it derails and I start sobbing about being jealous because he's going to Sasuke. Damn.

~*~

And with that, the first season of Ninja Warrior SE is over. While we may have been a little skeptical and/or critical at times, Chriss and I are of course huge fans of the show, if for no other reason than that without we would never had heard of Sasuke. And we would never have become the Sasuke hipsters, which would truly have been a tragedy.

Still, compared to Sasuke 1 (for example), this was pretty good, so I'm definitely hoping for lots more season, and not only because I wanna compete myself. It will definitely be interesting to see the kind of contestants we get next year, when the show is a little more well-known. I'm also hoping Kanal5 fucks with all the applicants/new constestants by completely revamping the stages. Imagine the look on people's faces when they suddenly find themself in front of the Half-Pipe Attack never having heard of it before. I would love that. But that's maybe because that's my fave obstacle.

Of course, we're not done blogging about this show, and you can expect a whole bunch of posts the next week. Then there's American Ninja Warrior, which we've never seen before, but we might recap that as well, just to get our weekly ninja fix.

But until then: sayonara ninja lovers!

Ninja Warrior SE: episode 7 recap

Air date: 4 March 2015

Obstacle fails:

Who went to stage three?

Source: Kanal5play.se

Total passes in the semi finals so far:

Source: Kanal5play.se

Don't ask me why it says "sista fem platserna" which means "last five places" because it doesn't make any sense. There are still ten more people that will make it to the final, five from next week's ep, and five with the best time as they reached the Arm Rings.

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Chriss & Ell commentary:

Since we're not longer living together, we had to watch it separately and just chatted on Skype with our comments. I'm not going to quote it word by word, so be thankful for that at least...

~*~

Chriss: "The Swedish translation of Salmon Ladder sounds awful."

Ell: "The girl I'm working with was all 'omg, the Salmon Ladder looks so hard'. And I was like "lol, you should see the Swap Salmon."

Chriss: "She knows nothing."

#sasukehipsters

~*~

Norweigan contestant Jörund Rundhovde flapped around the course and ultimately failed the changed Jump Hang.

Mårten Nylén (commentator): "Right into the fjord!"

Ell: "Hahahaha. Mårten is seriously funny."

Chriss: "Yes. He could maybe join us if we were commentators."

Ell: "Totally. But he'd had to stay in the back. Let the experts talk."

#sasukehipsters

~*~

Next up is David Johansson.

Source: Kanal5play.se

Chriss: "FUCK. That guy really IS built like a fridge."

Ell: "Yeah. He'll never pass stage three."

Chriss: "At least not if it was Sasuke."

Ell: "We'll see how he does in the Arm Rings. That's a lot of body to lift."

Chriss: "Shit. He just ran right up the wall."

Ell: "I thought he had a playboy bunny on his shirt, but it's just an angry ghost."

Chriss: "Hahhaahaha. Come on, angry ghost!"

Joke was totally on us, because the angry ghost made it through to stage three with no problem and a great time. I'm not sure how we ever doubted a guy that can do somersaults without anything to lift him up but his own legs. Looking forward to see him impress us in stage three!

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Adam Alsing (commentator): "He's waving to his kid, but he is a little too young to understand Ninja Warrior.

Ell: "Sschhh, Adam, kids are an important part of Sasuke."

Chriss: "I have been teaching [my nephew] and he's only two months."

Ell: "Him and [your other nephew] can start their ninja training under your supervision."

Chriss: "That's my plan!"

~*~

Spotted in footage showing third stage/the final: Doorknob Grasper, something that could be the Pipe Slider, something with a rope that seems to slide in a half-moon formation, I've never seen anything like that on Sasuke, and looking up "Rope" on Sasukepedia doesn't give any results either. Maybe it's a new thing? Or just a modified obstacle that's way harder in Sasuke? Wouldn't be the first time.

Source: Kanal5play.se

~*~

Chriss: "Being angry when you fail is unattractive though."
Ell: "Yeah, it's better if they cry."
Serious lack of crying in Ninja Warrior SE. They could all learn a thing or two from Asa.

~*~

Damnit, Anna-Lee Markstedt O'Dwyer, we thought for sure you'd make it! That leaves us with only one woman left for the last semi. I don't like those odds, I really don't.

~*~

And while Besnik Shala might have the ugliest pair of underwear I've seen in a while at least he's keeping up with the great Sasuke tradition of stripping down. Though, let's be real, this is modest compared to some things we've seen in Sasuke...

Source: Kanal5play.se

Besnik finished the stage with a great time, so we haven't seen the last of him or his underwear.

~*~

I'm not gonna lie, out of all the things I do not understand about Ninja Warrior SE (and if you've read this blog before, you know there are a few things), why they feel the need to finish by saying "Sayonara ninja lovers" is probably the thing I understand the least.

I mean, ninja plz...

~*~

Anyway, we're left with only one semifinal left and then it's "the final", or third stage. It seems to quite a step up from what we've seen so far, and I'm hoping we'll get to see lots of glorious failures in the episodes to come. That's what we're all waiting for, right? It definitely looks like it could be an interesting stage, from what we've seen so far.