Ninja Warrior SE: episode 8 recap

Air date: 12 March 2015

Obstacle fails:

Who went to stage three?

Jesper only made it to the Arm Rings, but had the best time reaching them.

Totat passes in the semifinal:

Source: Kanal5play.se

Source: Kanal5play.se

And we're done with stage two/the semifinals! Sadly none of the ladies made it, but there are a lot of strong competitors here, and I imagine anyone who failed at the Arm Rings is gonna be hungry for revenger in the next stage.

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Chriss & Ell commentary:

Some guy is having trouble with the Salmon Ladder.

Mårten Nylén (commentator): "But he's correcting himself!"
Ell: "Mårten always sounds so shocked when they do that."
Chriss: "Maybe he thinks that he's the only one could really pass the course. I really wanna see Mårten do the course!!!"
Ell: "YES!"
Chriss: "He should compete next year."
Ell: "Hasn't he published pics of him doing the course on Twitter or Instagram?"
Chriss: "Well, I've got some internet-stalking to do."

Well, I may have over-estimated the amount of pics because I went looking at his Twitter and could only find two pics of him doing the course:

Source: https://twitter.com/martennylen/status/565836637641646080

Source: https://twitter.com/martennylen/status/556497238814621697

Which isn't a particularly impressive find when I also found two pics of him wearing sport bras. More men should definitely wear sport bras.

Honestly, I think we all would like to see both Mårten and Adam take on the course, but somehow I get the feeling Mårten would do better of the two ...

~*~

They have a certain sound, that reminds me of Lost for some reason, that they play a little too often for dramatic effect. It works great on the Warped Wall: it kinda loses its touch after we then hear it during the jump to the Salmon Ladder and pushing the finishing button and everything else. As Chriss put it: they could be playing the Thor soundtrack, but noooooooo.

~*~

We get a flashback to Alexander Mellby's last performance:

Source: Kanal5play.se

 Chriss: "SUPERMAN"

Source: Kanal5play.se

Chriss: "PINK SUPERMAN"
Ell: "NICE."
Chriss: "10/10 would recommend"

That is an awesome tee. Where can I get one?

~*~

Source: Kanal5play.se

Björn Strömberg finishes the course.
Mårten (commentator): "As you can see, this guy has got a good grip: if he's holding onto something, he will not let it go. Typical of climbers."
Adam (commentator): "Also typical of me, if I've got a bag of chips in my hand, I'll never let go!"

~*~

Now we have the trio of coursins ... well, there were four of them to begin with, but one of them didn't make it past the first stage. And only one of them - Andreas Oscarsson - actually passed the second stage. Chriss kinda fell in love with him because of his "Harry Potter green" eyes.

Source: Kanal5play.se

Chriss: "We watch it for the plot and so on."

~*~

I know we talk a lot of shit about the Swedish Ninjas and how the course is too easy and blah, blah, but Patrik Hagelin displayed some true ninjas skills when he managed THIS fucking jump in the Arm Rings:

Source: Kanal5play.se

Dude could probably pass first stage in Sasuke. That is a bold move, and but it paid off, because we've seen a few people fail when they try to get up on the last part of the rings, and he just fucking skipped it. Awesome.

~*~

Anja Hodann didn't make it. :( But she got the farthest of the women, so you go, Anja! Next year!

~*~

Mårten finished by saying something in Japanese, I don't know what, but Adam promptly informed us that it was spoken in "ninja language". No. Just. No. It's Japanese, for fuck sake, dude. You're always talking about how people "speak ninja" or "ninja language", and frankly I'm finding it a bit disrespectful. But what do I know? We're just speaking bork bork bork over here.

~*~

And we're done with the semis! The finals are supposedly split into three parts, resembling normal Sasuke a lot more, and while I'm sure it'll be confusing as hell, I'm totally psyched about seeing more obstacles. The first part, I think, is just the same fucking course all over again, but with the Unstable Bridge instead of the Arm Rings. Personally I think Unstable Bridge looks way easier, but maybe that's just me ...

Until next time: sayonara ninja lovers!

Ninja Warrior SE: episode 7 recap

Air date: 4 March 2015

Obstacle fails:

Who went to stage three?

Source: Kanal5play.se

Total passes in the semi finals so far:

Source: Kanal5play.se

Don't ask me why it says "sista fem platserna" which means "last five places" because it doesn't make any sense. There are still ten more people that will make it to the final, five from next week's ep, and five with the best time as they reached the Arm Rings.

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Chriss & Ell commentary:

Since we're not longer living together, we had to watch it separately and just chatted on Skype with our comments. I'm not going to quote it word by word, so be thankful for that at least...

~*~

Chriss: "The Swedish translation of Salmon Ladder sounds awful."

Ell: "The girl I'm working with was all 'omg, the Salmon Ladder looks so hard'. And I was like "lol, you should see the Swap Salmon."

Chriss: "She knows nothing."

#sasukehipsters

~*~

Norweigan contestant Jörund Rundhovde flapped around the course and ultimately failed the changed Jump Hang.

Mårten Nylén (commentator): "Right into the fjord!"

Ell: "Hahahaha. Mårten is seriously funny."

Chriss: "Yes. He could maybe join us if we were commentators."

Ell: "Totally. But he'd had to stay in the back. Let the experts talk."

#sasukehipsters

~*~

Next up is David Johansson.

Source: Kanal5play.se

Chriss: "FUCK. That guy really IS built like a fridge."

Ell: "Yeah. He'll never pass stage three."

Chriss: "At least not if it was Sasuke."

Ell: "We'll see how he does in the Arm Rings. That's a lot of body to lift."

Chriss: "Shit. He just ran right up the wall."

Ell: "I thought he had a playboy bunny on his shirt, but it's just an angry ghost."

Chriss: "Hahhaahaha. Come on, angry ghost!"

Joke was totally on us, because the angry ghost made it through to stage three with no problem and a great time. I'm not sure how we ever doubted a guy that can do somersaults without anything to lift him up but his own legs. Looking forward to see him impress us in stage three!

~*~

Adam Alsing (commentator): "He's waving to his kid, but he is a little too young to understand Ninja Warrior.

Ell: "Sschhh, Adam, kids are an important part of Sasuke."

Chriss: "I have been teaching [my nephew] and he's only two months."

Ell: "Him and [your other nephew] can start their ninja training under your supervision."

Chriss: "That's my plan!"

~*~

Spotted in footage showing third stage/the final: Doorknob Grasper, something that could be the Pipe Slider, something with a rope that seems to slide in a half-moon formation, I've never seen anything like that on Sasuke, and looking up "Rope" on Sasukepedia doesn't give any results either. Maybe it's a new thing? Or just a modified obstacle that's way harder in Sasuke? Wouldn't be the first time.

Source: Kanal5play.se

~*~

Chriss: "Being angry when you fail is unattractive though."
Ell: "Yeah, it's better if they cry."
Serious lack of crying in Ninja Warrior SE. They could all learn a thing or two from Asa.

~*~

Damnit, Anna-Lee Markstedt O'Dwyer, we thought for sure you'd make it! That leaves us with only one woman left for the last semi. I don't like those odds, I really don't.

~*~

And while Besnik Shala might have the ugliest pair of underwear I've seen in a while at least he's keeping up with the great Sasuke tradition of stripping down. Though, let's be real, this is modest compared to some things we've seen in Sasuke...

Source: Kanal5play.se

Besnik finished the stage with a great time, so we haven't seen the last of him or his underwear.

~*~

I'm not gonna lie, out of all the things I do not understand about Ninja Warrior SE (and if you've read this blog before, you know there are a few things), why they feel the need to finish by saying "Sayonara ninja lovers" is probably the thing I understand the least.

I mean, ninja plz...

~*~

Anyway, we're left with only one semifinal left and then it's "the final", or third stage. It seems to quite a step up from what we've seen so far, and I'm hoping we'll get to see lots of glorious failures in the episodes to come. That's what we're all waiting for, right? It definitely looks like it could be an interesting stage, from what we've seen so far.

Ninja Warrior SE: stage two

So, out of the 125 people that attempted stage one, or the qualifying round, 66 made it to stage two, or the semifinals. What exactly are they encountering in this? Well, as we've previously reported, it is quite similar to the first stage, with only three new obstacles once they clear the Warped Wall, but there are some changes to the old obstacles as well.

Here's how it goes:

Source: Kanal5play.se

The Quintuple Step is basically unchanged, so I'm not even bothering with a new picture here.

Source: Kanal5play.se

The Hang Glider has changed, and instead of handles to grab onto, now it's just two thick ropes. Slightly harder, but as far as we've seen it hasn't cause anyone much trouble.

Source: Kanal5play.se

The Cross-Bridge is pretty much the same. People are not having problems with this one either.

Source: Kanal5play.se

Here we see Sweden's own Legolas attempt the improved Jump Hang. A comparison shot is probably best to show off the difference.

Source: Kanal5play.se

Maybe it's not obvious, but the net is farther away, and hanging a bit higher than last time. This means reaching it is harder, but once you're there, you're not as likely to touch the water with your t-shirt or hair. This makes this obstacle more Sasuke, because we've seen very few people fail the Jump Hang in Sasuke because their clothes were hanging low.

Source: Kanal5play.se

The Spider Walk is the same.

Source: Kanal5play.se

And so is the Warped Wall.

But, once they've finished the Warped Wall, the contestants will NOT find a nice little button to press and a roaring crowd, NOPE. They have to go on to face ...

Source: Kanal5play.se

The Salmon Ladder! Okay, in Sasuke they've had to turn this into the fucking Swap Salmon Ladder, but if you've never encountered this before, your regular old Salmon Ladder will do. It does, of course, lead directly to the next obstacle, but as long as you can reach that, it doesn't matter how many steps you did on the Salmon Ladder. So if you're really tall and good at jumping, go ahead and skip this one completely, and just grab onto ...

Source: Kanal5play.se

The Arm Rings! Pretty sure they have killed the most contestants in Stage 2 (what would be known as "the Ninja Killer" in Ninja Warrior), and yeah, they do not look fun. Naturally, it's designed so that one arm will be at the lowest point while you need to get the other up over the highest point, and a lot of good contestants couldn't take it. Once they let go with one arm, you're know they're out.

Source: Kanal5play.se

However, should they survive the arm rings, they can take it easy because the next obstacle, is impossible to fail. The Rope Ladder. I called it the net or something in the two last recaps, because it isn't exactly like the Rope Ladde. As I said, this one is practically impossible to fail. Even if you should fall, you'd just drop down a bit and then you could climb back up again ... unless, maybe you fell badly to the side.

It's isn't a very good obstacle, probably the worst one of the course. Not because I don't enjoy the Rope Ladder in general, but because it's a bit too high, the contestants are tooo tired, and there's nothing motivating them to do it fast. It doesn't make for good television. Add a Tarzan Rope or something before it, and it would be a much stronger finish. As it stands now, once someone drops safely off the Arm Rings, you know they've got a spot in the final/third stage.

Don't know exactly what the final/third stage will bring, but we have definitely seen the Wall Lifting, the Floating Boards, the Unstable Bridge and some more in the previews. We'll make another post when we know more about it.

Ninja Warrior SE: episode 6 recap

Air date: 26 February 2015

Obstacle fails:

Who went on to the third stage:

Source: kanal5play.se

And total passes in semi final 1 & 2:

Source: kanal5play.se

Once again I'm confused: will Henning and David lose their places if more than 5 people pass in the next two semifinals? That's how this image makes it seem, but it also specifies that they made it to the final, so I'm not entirely sure. My guess for now is that Kanal5 is deliberately showing us them in the order that makes the episodes the most dramatical, and that the people failing the course didn't know they made it until the end of the day. I mean, it makes for better TV, doesn't it?

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Chriss & Ell commentary:

First out is our fave Bernhard Dalsheim, who delivers the line "I'm gonna take it slow, 'cause I'm very out of shape" (which isn't true, he has a lot of muscles, but clearly not much endurance). Sadly, Bernhard failed, but he told us in Japanese that he'll be back next year. We hope so!

~*~

Konstantinos Tzaos tells us his approach to Ninja Warrior SE; "I'm gonna pretend the water is lava", which reminds me of this tweet:

Source: https://twitter.com/oskimonster/status/563460693287268352

Translation: "Super course? The Swedish version is just slightly harder than Musical Chairs, for crying out loud!"

~*~ 

Daniel Sköld, the competitor who failed the Hang Glider (interestingly I can only remember that it happened once in the qualifying round, but we've seen two do it in the semis), is at least going all out on his ninja look. Inspiring dude, truly inspiring.

Source: Kanal5play.se

~*~

David Marberg, who failed the arm rings but still got a spot in the final/third stage, got the nickname "The Swedish Chuck Norris" ... well, you can guess why:

Source: Kanal5play.se

The Swedish commentators of course found this hilarious.

Adam Alsing: "Mårten, how do you think the real Chuck Norris would handle the Jump Hang?"

Mårten Nylén: "Ehh, I don't know."

Adam Alsing: "No, because the question is really HOW WOULD THE JUMP HANG HANDLE CHUCK NORRIS?"

I mean that comment isn't super-funny, but he sounded so fucking proud of himself for pulling it off that it is without a doubt the funniest commentator moment so far.

~*~

Martin Lindh didn't get the greatest time in this ep, but as we all know, as long as you finish, you've still got a chance to finish the course, so we're not counting him out just yet. Especially not given his line of work ...

Source: Kanal5play.se

Chriss: "Oh! A fireman! He should wear orange pants."

Do that next time, Martin, and you'll be our fave.

~*~

Camilo Lattof sadly didn't make it, but DAMN, that guy is still the only person in Ninja Warrior SE who has good technique on the Spider Walk, and that's a good enough reason for us to like him. Though naming him the Swedish Speed Demon was a bit much ...

~*~

We end with commentator Mårten Nylén saying that anything can happen in Ninja Warrior and he is absolutely right. That is one of the reasons we love it so much.

Ninja Warrior SE: episode 5 recap

Air date: 25 February 2015

How many people failed each obstacle?

Who went on to third stage/the final?

Source: Kanal5play.se

As you can see, four people cleared the stage, but five from each semi will go on to the third stage/the final. Henning Attlin (the only person in Ninja Warrior SE who could out-hipster us), failed the arm rings as well as four other guys, BUT he had the fastest time finishing the salmon ladder and that meant he went on to the final as well.

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Chriss & Ell commentary:

They're making the rules overly complicated, aren't they? We watched Sasuke with basically no knowledge of the show and not understanding a word of Japanese, but we very quickly picked up on the simple rules: if you finish one stage, you go on to the next. If you don't, you're out. If no one finishes, then the show ends.

I mean, we're happy for Henning, of course, it's always nice when someone's impressively fast time is rewarded (Alexander Mars, with the best time this semifinal, reached the arm rings at least 30 seconds later than Henning, so had he finished his time could have been spectacular), but it ain't very Sasuke to let someone who failed a stage move on to the next.

Personally we think it would make more sense, if it's so incredibly important that 25 people reach the final (I think - but don't quote me on this - that this is 5 people from four semifinals, PLUS the 5 people with the best times over-all, but I might be wrong since they are being a bit vague on how it'll go down), that they should pick the person who got the furthest before failing, even if that would come down to centimeters in some cases.

In any case, there is a risk that we see six people complete second stage/the semi final in the next episode and that one of them won't even make it to the final because they let someone who failed pass the episode before that. Hopefully it won't happen, but it could, and it makes everything way more complicated than necessary.

Honestly, when you turn Sasuke into a competition like this, it feels like watching an entire season of American Ninja Warrior USA vs the world, and we're not loving it. Is the same system used in ANW? I know they let people move on to the next stage based on the time, but is the second stage/semi final done in heats like this?

~*~

Chriss: There should be more celebrities in the show, like they have on Sasuke.

Ell: Well, technically Kitsune is a gladiator, so she's a celebrity.

Chriss: Yeah, but they should get like ... Paolo Roberto for next season.

~*~

Announcer: "Only three people in the world have every completed Ninja Warrior."

Ell: "No, only three people in JAPAN."

Honestly, only the Japanese have done it, and I know they're trying to make it sound more awesome by phrasing it like that, but they are kinda erasing the fact that no non-Japanese person have ever been close to achieving Kanzenseiha when they never mention it. Hey, maybe I'm just overly protective of my faves.

~*~

Despite all our negativity we like the show, but we would love to see the New Stars from Sasuke take it on. They'd laugh all the way through and it'd be amazing.

~*~

And the ultimate proof that the rules are a little bit too confusing came from the announcers, when they repeatedly referred to the qualifying round as the semi when discussing one of the contestants. We know, it's confusing us too, and we should just stick to calling them first, second and third stage to make it simple.

~*~

One last thing: we totally missed that they are airing two Ninja Warrior SE eps this week. SWEET, more Ninja Warrior! Not sweet that we didn't realize this until today, and totally missed to recap this episode yesterday, when it aired. Because of that we will not be recaping today's ep until tomorrow. Sorry about that!